October 2004 Pastor's Letter

From the Pastor, As I set at my desk thinking about the coming month, the only recurring theme is that it is National Domestic Violence Month. I know you are all thinking, here he goes again on some soap box, far from reality. Tolerate me a moment as we consider what domestic violence does to our community. First is the impact on just those involved and believe me there are plenty right here in Holt County. Just this past week as I was preparing for an education event to help prevent dating violence, and in conservation about it, I have been told by several people of abuse. No, they themselves were not being abused but they knew someone who was. Those being abused ranged in age from 3 years to more than 40 years. This seems insignificant but I talk to a lot of people and only a fraction of those who are being battered or abused will ever share their story. In this one week I heard about at least 6 people here in our local area. Each of the abused are going to wear the guilt, shame, and pain of the abuse for the rest of their life. Since this affects more than the persons directly involved I want to share some of what I have learned. First the people telling me are very emotional about what happened. They themselves will carry feelings for the rest of their lives. Then there is the cost to society, it is an unmeasurable amount of lost work hours, dysfunctional children, youth, and adults. It will be carried like a disease far into the future as abuse is a behavior carried from one generation to the next. It becomes a cycle of anger, guilt, shame, and action. We will never be separated from what it does to us as a culture, a community, a group of believers, unless we take direct action to stop it. Many people think there is nothing they can do as individuals, but rest assured there is plenty you can do. If it is happening and you know it, support the victim. Let people know we as Christians do not believe anyone should be subjected to violent behavior in a trusting relationship. I don’t believe that the God I serve would have us return anyone to an abusive relationship. I believe he puts us together as a family of believers to support one another, to protect one another, and to encourage one another. I am encouraging you to look, listen, and care, for the ones God has placed in our care. They are the ones we see day to day, the ones in worship with us at church, the ones that come to us for help. This month the WHHM is working in conjunction with Bright Horizons of O’Neill to bring a candlelight vigil to Atkinson. Your support will be needed if we are to make a bold statement of our belief about domestic violence. I am asking you personally to come to the vigil, we are not sure at this point when or where it will be, as a speaker is being sought, but I will let you know and pray for your support. I am always hesitant to write about something that is as controversial as this but feel in my heart it is time I shared about domestic violence with all of you. I have been working with Bright Horizons for a bit over a year and have been around to different parts of the state and the nation attending educational conferences about domestic violence. I have learned a great deal about it and also about the way others respond to the crisis, and it is time we all came together and learned even more. I want to leave you with a word of caution, the most dangerous time in the life of a victim is when they decide to do something about the violence. Use caution if you have been confided in, contact someone who will know what to do. Listen and believe what you hear no matter how horrible and unbelievable it might sound. If it is false there is less harm to believe than to dismiss it if it is true. Together we can do something. WaynO

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